Woman's View: Healthy Relationships
CBS 3 KYW-Television Broadcast
August 30, 2004: 4:00 PM
Transcript of Segment
The saying goes "all you need is love" but a healthy
relationship demands a lot more than that. Anchor Alycia Lane
finds out the secrets to successful relationship.
Of all the skills we learn in school, there is no class on how
to have a healthy relationship and with almost half of all marriages
ending in divorce maybe there should be.
Nine years of marriage and three children later Susan and Neil
Cooper's communication is often reduced to the daily chatter
of chores and appointments. More than a year ago they realized
that wasn't enough.
"We just reached the point that it was very difficult to
communicate and we had a lot of yelling and screaming,"
"And all of those challenges took the focus away from the
fact that at one point we had been a man and a woman who fell
in love," said Susan.
After more than seven years of growing pains, Susan found a
semester long class on relationships taught by Dr. Rita DeMaria,
the Director of Relationship Education at the Council for Relationships.
”We need a lot more positive in the relationship so that we
have sort of money in the love bank when it comes time for conflicts
that we have to solve," explained Dr. DeMaria.
Dr. DeMaria says gender differences are often the source of
conflicts: "I don't think that women realize how sensitive
men are, just because they don't communicate their feelings
well, doesn't mean they don't have them."
Understanding her husband's need for some private time after
work was difficult for Susan. "She thought it was some
kind of statement that I didn't love her," recalled Neal.
"A lot of time we get caught up complaining but we never
really say what we want, we say what we're unhappy about,"
Dr. DeMaria stated.
Today Susan and Neal have learned how to blend their needs into
a happy marriage.
"One of the challenges that we had to work through was
instead of trying to impose our own perspective on each other
was to hear what the other person had to say,” said Susan.
They say that has made all the difference.
"I would say it's great," said Neal. Susan agreed:
"I would say it's strong, and definitely - moving in the
Research suggests that couples wait six years to get professional
help once they realize there's a problem in their relationship.
here for more information on Dr. DeMaria's courses.
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